Moving On

Is there a time limit on grief?
Is there a time when you decide it's time to move on?
Is there a time when you come to realize that person will never be back?
Is there a time when you look around over the past few days and wonder why you haven't gotten out of bed?
Whose to say that any of the questions have to be answered?
The answers to these questions all depend on the person and the situation.
Everyone deals with grief in their own way. It is not something that people should stereotype and put a label on.
If you think that there should be..Well, excuse me, but who the hell are you to have that kind of authority?
It can take days, weeks, months, years.
My dad said the other day you never know how someone else shoes feels till you wear them and walk in them for yourself. This is so true! Don't tell people you know what they are going through, if you really don't. Because honestly that person probably wants to smack you. Don't offer to help if you don't feel like following through.
I truly have been heartbroken over the past week. I am grieving for many reasons..because I have lost a cousin and a grandpa, because I honestly don't know how my aunt and cousin are still functioning members of society after what they have grown through, because I know there are things my dad wishes he could have done with my grandpa, because I don't have any grandpa living, because my family grieves, because my family and I will never hear that persons voice or feel their touch again.
But I am grateful for many reasons..because I have a family in heaven that will be waiting for me with open arms one day, because I know deep in my heart my aunt and cousin will find peace, because I know there are things my dad is grateful for that he did with my grandpa, because I have 2 guardian angel grandpas, because my family is grateful for these same things, because I am grateful for the sayings I remember from them and because of the hugs I was given.
Grieving is a process that is long and grueling. You never really finish grieving. There will always be that thing that reminds you of someone or that smell that reminds you of them. I never knew my mom's mom, she passed away when my mom was 25, its been 25 years now and my mom still puts on a waterworks show when something reminds her of my grandma. And that's okay, it only shows that their memory and legacy lives on :) There will always be a place in your heart that longs for that person.  But there will come a time when you hear that persons name, you will smile, instead of cry.
 John 16:22 - "Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy."
Rejoice. Rejoice. Rejoice.

death

Death according to the internet is the permanent termination of the biological functions that sustain a living organism. What a blunt way to put it. No feeling in that definition. Death is the 5 letter word that no one wants to hear. It is inevitable. It is tragic. It sucks. Death is a crazy balance of peace and rage. When one's life comes to an end a million thoughts go racing through your mind. The 4 W's & H are perfectly exemplified in death. What? Why? Where? When? and How?  The 5 stages of grief occur immediately.Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
Death is something that we have been familiar with since we were born. One person dies every 12.1 seconds. But one person is born every 7.4 seconds. With death comes new life. Not necessarily a new physical being but the stories of death give people a new meaning to life. It gives people the will to keep fighting. Death gives other people second chances.
Death has a crazy way of bringing people closer together.
My family has experienced 2 deaths in 2 days. We have 2 funerals to attend. We will mourn the loss of 2. We have 2 more angels in heaven. We have 2 more reasons to continue to live life to the fullest and 2 more reasons to continue to live out their legacy. My grandpa has left behind 11 children. 28 grandchildren.(Sean makes 29, but I'm sure he is holding hands with grandpa in heaven as we speak) 19 great grandchildren(2 on the way) and many friends that he has met along the way.
Our family will be together for the first time in years. Death has a funny way of doing that, of bringing people together. Death has a funny way of making people realize that the silly things we worry about like laundry, dishes, homework, if the grass is cut, if our hair looks okay, and on are merely silly.
So death is not just the permanent termination of the biological functions that sustain a living organism. It is someones, grandma, grandpa, wife, husband, son, daughter, niece, nephew, aunt, uncle, granddaughter, grandson, friend, or coworker. Every person has a story to tell and a life to live and if that person's life is cut short by the 5 letter word we all dread to hear, then it is the people that they left behind responsibility to continue to live out their legacy. It is our responsibility to make sure that person is never forgotten. They will always be with us everyday, it is our responsibility to notice the signs, to listen with open ears, to feel the wind or rain on our face, to bask in the sunshine, to embrace new life for they are now our guardian angels steering us in the direction we need to go.
So let us not be saddened by death, but rejoice their life, rejoice the things they have done, rejoice in the memories that we do have.